A significant thing happened during my final week. I mentioned this briefly during my week eleven post which I’ll link here for you. So, what was coming —

Surgery.

It saved my life, though I didn’t realize at the time it needed saving. My physical condition had deteriorated. There was constant pain, and I was struggling to walk. Needing to pee all the time was annoying. Drinking half my weight in liquids was difficult, but necessary to stay unconstipated. I was also an emotional mess, but didn’t realize how much of a mess until afterward. 

So here’s where I was during the middle of week twelve: the hospital.

And during the days afterward, what was I doing? Sleeping, more sleeping and you guessed it sleeping.

I am still recovering. The surgery was a success, and I came through it blessed with the best possible ending. Every test was benign. There was no cancer. It was determined I had endometriosis, which had resulted in fibroids and a very very large cyst that would have killed me if the surgery didn’t take place. As dramatic as that sounds, it was that serious. But I am on the slow road to recovery.

On the creative side of things, I’m sad to report I’ve lost ground.

I’ve regressed, but there is hope in that regard as well. Because I know how to recover my creative spirit, to rejuvenate my inner artist and I even know why I am in this mini slump. It’s written in Cameron’s epilogue: “the road is never straight. Growth is a spiral process, doubling back on itself, reassessing and regrouping…. ”

12 weeks of the Artist Way. Is it worth it?

Yes.

Yes, because I came to know my artist self. I drew pictures of her over and over with various emotions. Before this, I never called myself an artist. Despite having a bag of art supplies, sketch books, drawing programs, a graphic design portfolio, and boxes of notebooks for stories, the earliest from when I was twelve years old.

(Two years ago at an Airbnb, a young woman asked me if I was an artist and now I can finally answer her. Yes, I am an artist.)

And because of the Artist’s Way, I became more creative during these twelve weeks than I’ve ever been before. Creative and focused!

Yes, because it made me question what I wanted, and how I was going to get there. I’m still working it out, but with more clarity of self than ever before.

Because it challenged me with morning pages. 

Because it made me more faithful and reminded me of how blessed I am to be alive. 

Because I never would have been so cheerful during those two months of physical pain and mental uncertainty. 

What am I going to do now that it’s over? Well, this is the last post. I will do my last check in and then, I think I may give myself the summer and come September, I’ll tackle the last task of week 12: reread the entire book.

Week 12 check in (yes, this is very very late, but it still counts.)

Morning pages: No, I have not accepted them as a permanent part of my artistic life. But I recognize they play a significant role in creativity! I shall not be as strict about them. As I recover physically, I will begin waking up earlier to fit them into my day. Plus smaller notebooks. And often two pages is enough and if I scribble a little on days when I’m impatient, that is allowed. Skipping on purpose — not allowed.

Artist dates: I have not been doing them. But…I will continue these, only without so much pressure to do one every week. Not that I did one every single week, but when Sunday arrived, I felt such guilt if I had not, and I would throw together a last-minute idea. Spontaneous artist dates are such fun. So are planned dates, but at my own pace, if you please.

Moments of Synchronicity: the successful surgery, my wonderful helpful and brave nurses, the people who drew my blood every day, the doctors who saved me, the security guards who helped my father find his way into the pharmacy at midnight, so he could pick up the nausea medicine I desperately needed. Everyone who prayed for me, I will keep you in my prayers too for the blessing and kindness you showered upon me! My boss for understanding how weak I am during my long recovery, my coworkers for stepping up to help with lifting and bending. My roommate for reminding me I can always, and should always, ask for help if I need it. 

Ask. 

Even if it’s difficult. Especially when it’s difficult! Ask someone for help.

Other significant insights: It’s hard to believe it’s over. I spent 12 weeks studying Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and trying to understand it. I used these reflections to engage with the material, and yet I still feel like there is so much more to discuss and discover. There is much more to creativity and the challenges I must face as an artist. I will continue my journey. I have many more stories I want to share.

 
What is next? I’m thinking about my next challenge or, I shall call it an adventure. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but when I am, I’ll let you know. In the meantime: art!